Believe
by JrBenson
Summary: One snowy night, the lives of these three women will changer forever...
1. Chapter 1

Since it's that time of year for Christmas stories, I figured I'd try my hand at it. Think of this story as the grown up version of the Polar Express just without the actual train. It has a few lovable characters in it – SVU and a few of the Bad Girls (Brit TV show). As we all know, Olivia has had a hard childhood so she's lost her belief in the true holiday spirit at a young age. The same goes for Nikki Wade and Helen Stewart. Now don't you worry, I haven't forgotten about my other story but this popped into my head as I lay listening to Josh Groban's song _Believe_ (which happens to be on the soundtrack of The Polar Express)

Plot/summary: Nikki and Helen obviously are a couple and are happy together but something is missing in their lives. Olivia is a good friend of theirs and she too is feeling like something is missing in her life. Until one snowy night. The lives of these three women will be forever changed by one event.

* * *

Believe

"Alright everyone! Have yourselves a great holiday. I don't expect to see anyone until next Monday."

"Uh…captain. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Liv. But if this is about your time off, the answer is no," Cragen turned and headed for his office. Olivia just stared at his retreating back and sighed. She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to do for entire week.

As if to read her thoughts, Elliot saddled up beside her, "you have any plans then?" Shaking her head and turning towards her desk, Olivia began to pack up her desk.

"You know I don't have any family. And before you say anything, I'm just going to stop by your place on Christmas morning for a few hours to drop of the kids gifts."

"Ok. But you know Kathy. She's not going to like that. And besides, your little El's godmother. Why don't you sleep over for the week…?" Elliot wasn't able to finish his sentence when Liv adamantly shook her head.

"No way. I've spent an afternoon at your house remember? Your kids are great and I love 'em all, but I'm not that crazy to spend more then a few hours with them. They are wild." With that, Olivia said her goodbyes and left the squad for her holidays. Olivia was thinking about how she was going to do during the holidays when a familiar voice stopped her.

"Happy holidays you prat! "

Smiling Olivia looked up to see her best friends heading towards her.

"Hey you two. Where have you been?" As Helen was about to reply, Olivia caught the look on Nikki's face and quickly add with a cheeky grin on her face, "on second thought, never mind." Both Nikki and Liv laughed but Helen's jaw dropped open.

"Olivia Benson! I'd expect that from Nikki, but you!" There was no bitterness in the words. Only a twinkle in Helen's eyes. All three women smiled.

"What are your plans for the holidays mate?" Nikki said as she wrapped an arm around Helen's shoulder. Liv thought about it.

"Uh-oh. Looks like someone is thinking of bailing out on us Nik," Helen said with her thick Scottish accent. Olivia smiled and just shook her head.

"No I'm not bailing…yet. Did you need me to bring anything?"

"Nah. Just bring yourself. And if you can bring a date along that would be great." Sighing, Liv just shook her head. Helen was always trying to get Olivia to date more. At least get out of the apartment.

"Now Helen, you know I can't cheat on you," Liv said with a wink and a smile. Helen just blushed slightly and laughed along with her. A glance at Nikki told Olivia that she had better stop that line of joking.

Clearing her throat, Liv gave a sad smile and said, "Sorry ladies. I'm not bringing a soul. You'll just have to deal with me." With that Liv made her way to the elevator.

"Come on now mate! We know you have someone stashed away!" Nikki called out as Liv entered the elevator. Getting an elbow in the ribs Nikki looked down at Helen.

"What? What did I do, love?"

Sighing and rolling her eyes, Helen eased her way out of Nikki's arms, "I saw the look you gave her Nik. You know she means no harm."

"I know, I know. I can't help it. Can you blame me?" Nikki gave her that small smile that Helen melted over. Shaking her head, Helen reached up and kissed Nik on the lips.

"You're incorrigible." Helen placed her hand in Nikki's and headed for the elevators.

"Yeah. But you know you love it," Nikki replied cheekily.


	2. Rudy

Sorry...it took a bit longer then expected to get this up. It's a bit cute and fluffy...blame that on my nephew! lol.

Hope you enjoy it. I own nothing.

* * *

Rudy

_Gosh darn it! Rudy where the heck are you?_ Thought the frantic woman. "First day on the job and I go and lose the most important one of all," she mumbled under her breath. A loud snort and a banging of hooves startled her.

"Sorry…I didn't mean it like that…" she stuttered. Another snort from the big beast made the woman smile. Relived that Comet Jr. had decided not to take issue with her, the woman continued her pacing.

"Does anyone know where Rudy could have gone to? Anyone?" She said to the room full of reindeer. They all stared at her as if she had lost her mind. Sighing and running a hand through her hair, she stared at the empty stall.

_This is so not good…_

* * *

"_It's about bloody time you answered. What the hell have you been doing? I've been ringing you for the last 20 bloody minutes!"_

"I'm sorry Nik. I've been busy cleaning up the place…" _Not a complete lie_, Olivia thought. Unfortunately for her, Nikki didn't believe one word.

"_You tart…think you can pull one over my eyes. What's the real reason? And don't you dare give me some stupid excuse about your bloody plants. They haven't been watered in months!"_

Sighing, Olivia just closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. It wasn't that she was a scrooge; she just never really had a reason to celebrate the holidays.

"_Hello? Do I need to call the head doctor?"_

"No!" Since meeting Nikki almost 9 years ago, the two have become like sisters. "Nothing is wrong. I just felt like cleaning up a little…"

"_My arse! Spill it! Now!" _

"Nothing! The place was a mess. I had to clean it. That's all."

There was on the other line. _"Alright. But if I go over there and the place is way too clean, you're gonna get an arse kicking like you've never had…"_

"Fine! But if Helen finds out, you're not crashing at my place!"

"_Bloody cow!"_

Olivia just laughed. She and Nikki got on well, despite Nikki's incarceration for killing a cop back in the UK.

"Aright, alright! I'll get my stuff ready. I'll meet you two in a couple of hours…"

"_A couple! You do know you're just staying for a few days?"_

"Asshole!" Both women laughed. After a few more minutes of throwing insults around, they hung up and Olivia sighed. She looked around her quiet apartment and thought once more how lonely it was. _And I come home to this everyday…_

Shaking her head, Olivia went to her room and grabbed the duffle bag and began to pack.

* * *

They young blonde was pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. She was panicking. It had been over 5 hours already and no one seemed to know where Rudy was.

"Ok…have you checked the neighbouring towns. I mean, how far can he go? He's got a nose that can light up Madison Square Gardens for crying out loud!" The blonde cried.

"Boss, you gotta relax. He's probably just hiding out some place…" the little man threw his hands up when he saw the look his boss gave him. "Ok, ok…I was just trying to help…"

Sinking down into the big comfy chair, the blonde just slumped her shoulders and looked miserable.

"I'm sorry Marty. It's just…this is my first year doing this. I don't want to be the one that ruined Christmas." She rested her elbows on her knees and cupped her face in her hands and stared at the fire.

Marty wandered over to his boss and climbed up into the chair next to hers. He reached out and placed a small hand on her shoulder. "Look, you've got about a couple of weeks to find the little bugger. He'll turn up, you'll see. I'll keep a look out for him. You just worry about the toys and the list. Ok?"

Nodding, the blonde leaned back against the chair. "Why did my brother have to be so stupid and get himself killed? If mom and dad were alive they'd be livid with him for doing this to me."

"Give me a break will ya? Things happen for a reason – maybe your brother would have done a lousy job at this gig. Who knows?"

"Yeah, but he would have been alive…" she said quietly.

Marty didn't have a reply for that one. "Come on, kid. I think the missus has dinner ready for us." He didn't wait for an answer. He just hopped off the chair and waddled into the kitchen.

The blonde got up and stood in front of the big family portrait. She stared at the painting of her mom, brother, dad and herself. She missed them terribly and wished they could be here with her. She remembered how her father's eyes would just sparkle whenever he smiled. And how his laugh shook the entire house. Mom always knew what to do or say to make you feel better. And Nicky…typical big brother – always ready with a teasing remark but never far from a hug or a shoulder to cry on.

Now, it was just quiet around here. The only relatives she had left were Marty and his wife, Emerald. They were her fathers assistants in the workshop when he first started all those many years ago and have been with them since.

"YA COMING?" came Marty's voice from the kitchen.

"Marty!" Emerald scolded her husband. Taking one last look of the painting, the blonde headed for the kitchen.

* * *

Ripping the front door wide open, Nikki engulfed her friend into a huge hug.

"It's about bloody time!"

"Nikki!" cried out. Shaking her head she just took Liv in her arms and gave her a squeeze.

"Hey! That's enough!" Nikki said with a smirk on her face. Helen let go of her friend and glared at Nikki.

Seeing a potential disaster waiting to happen, Olivia made her way to the couch and plopped down on to it.

"So…what are we eating?" Liv stretched her legs out and folded her arms behind her head. Nikki laughed while Helen's eyes widened in shock she threw her hands up and stormed off into the kitchen.

Nikki sat beside her and laughed. "It's really good to see you mate," and she patted Liv's shoulder.

These two came from two different worlds but still ended up becoming the best of friends. Their lives weren't easy for them. It left a sour taste in Nikki's mouth while Olivia had become a bit cynical with each passing year. They both knew that something was missing in there own life. They just didn't know what.

As for Helen, she had a similar life but she somehow always tried to see the better part of it. Although it didn't mean she saw the world with rose coloured glasses, she just saw it differently.

But as the years past by, she too was becoming more and more unhappy about where she was in her life. Granted she had a great job, good friends and an amazing wife. But she felt she was missing something.

Aloud crash out on the street got all there attention.

"What the hell was that?" Nikki and Liv came rushing into the kitchen and joined Helen at the window.

When they couldn't see anything, Olivia went back out into the living room and grabbed her jacket.

"And where do you think you're off to?" Helen stood with her hands on her hips.

"I'm just going to see what's out there. I'll be back in a few minutes. I swear…where are _you_ going?" She watched as Nikki grabbed her coat and shrugged it on.

"Isn't it obvious? And you're the smart one between the two of us? I'll be back love." Nikki leaned over and kissed her wife.

Helen still wasn't happy but at least they'd be safe. Waving them off with a stern warning to be back, the two left and headed for the street.

* * *

"The noise came from the kitchen…which means it should be around here…" Olivia and Nikki stood back from the building and examined the snow-covered street. They checked in the ally ways and but nothing seemed to be out of place.

"That's really weird…"

"Maybe it was some cat digging in the trash bins…" Nikki said as she looked around the empty street. Olivia turned and gave her a look.

"Right. And I'm the tooth fairy…"

"I knew you were hiding something from us!" Nikki laughed the quickly took cover as Olivia threw a snowball at her.

Still laughing Nikki motioned for them to head back inside. "There's nothing out here mate." She turned and headed for the building. Liv gave on last look down the street. Something was weird…she just didn't know what.

Not seeing anything, Olivia shrugged and followed Nikki back inside.

* * *

The four-legged animal slowly came out of hiding. It looked sadly around and found nothing familiar. He gave a quiet moan and slowly made it's way to where the two women had stood a few minutes ago. He looked up towards the sky and hoped that someone would find him soon and bring him home.

A lone tear fell from the animal's eye and he walked back to his hiding spot and hunkered down for the night. He rested his tired head on his front legs as he lay down. His nose begun to glow a bright red for a moment then it dimmed back to its regular colour. He sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe the morning would bring some relief.

* * *

Helen had already set up the table and was now getting the food set up in dishes. Nikki came bounding in with Olivia trailing behind her.

"HONEY I'M HOME!" Nikki bellowed. She tossed her jacket onto the couch and strolled over to Helen and planted a kiss on her lips.

Helen just looked at her wife with an irritated look. "Is that really necessary?"

Nikki looked innocently at Helen and shrugged. "Ok…I won't kiss you anymore." Helen just swatted her wife's arm and Olivia laughed quietly.

"Who needs kids when I have you," Helen replied with a twinkle in her eye. Nikki responded by engulfing Helen in hug and winking at her.

All three laughed then sat down at the table for dinner.

"So, did you find what all the commotion was about?" Helen asked.

Nikki and Liv shook their heads. "It was like nothing was disturbed. Nothing out of place."

"And Olivia finally admitted she really _is_ the tooth fairy…"

Rolling her eyes, Helen just shook her head. "Anyways, it just seemed a little odd. I'll check it out again later…"

"Look, we didn't see anything out there…"

"I know, but something's just not right."

"Fine. I'll go with…"

"No."

Helen and Nikki both looked at Olivia. They were surprised with the tone she had used.

"I'm sorry…I'll go on my own. If it's nothing, then there's no use for the two of us to go. I'll call if I need an extra pair of eyes. OK?"

Nikki looked like she wanted to say something vulgar but Helen had placed a hand on her forearm and spoke first.

"Deal. Just promise you'll be careful." Olivia nodded and smiled at them. After that dinner was quiet. Neither of the women had much interest in starting a conversation just for the sake of it.

Dinner was finally finished and all three had helped clean up the dishes. Helen looked pointedly at Nikki behind Olivia's back. Getting the message loud and clear, Nikki held her hands up in surrender and turned to her friend.

"It's getting dark out; you better go and see what all the fuss was about." Olivia did a double take when she heard Nikki say that. She then glanced at Helen who was purposefully stacking the dry dishes.

"Thanks. I'll be back." Liv made her way to the closet and grabbed her jacket then slipped out quietly.

* * *

"Hey boss!" Marty came rushing into the workshop visibly out of breath. The blonde quickly came rushing forward and knelt down and examined her friend.

"What! What happened?"

"We found him! We found Rudy!" Marty was bouncing around. The blonde nearly fell over with relief.

"Thank goodness! Where? Where is the little guy?" She was now rushing to and fro; excited and relived by the fact they found Rudy.

Marty, who was watching her pace tried to catch her attention. "Um…boss…boss? _BOSS!_" The blonde stopped abruptly and stared at Marty. "There's a small complication…" Marty winced as he said it.

"What kind of complication?" The blonde sank down to her knees. She didn't like the sound of this.

"Well…"

"Oh just spit it out Marty!" She was really going to shake the little man if he didn't say anything soon.

"He's in New York City…" seeing his boss's eyes widen in shock, Marty quickly added, "but everything is all good. He's fine, we found him…"

"I'm going down there…" Standing up, the blonde grabbed her sack and threw in some supplies she may need for the trip.

Marty who hadn't heard her was still going on, "…he's safe, he's not hurt, he's…YOU WHAT!" Realizing what she just said, Marty tried to keep up with the young blonde as she zig zaged around the room gathering various items.

"Are you out of your mind? That's insane! That's…that's…that's just…no, no, no, no, NO!"

"Marty…I have to go down there. Rudy is the only one that will listen to me. We have to get him back. We only have two weeks until Christmas and he hasn't even had any actual training leading the pack."

"But still! This is holiday suicide! Emerald isn't going to like this…"

"Like what?" Standing there in the door way was Marty's wife, Emerald. With hands on her plump hips, she glared at Marty.

"Well…uh…you see…I…" Marty turned beat red and stuttered. He kept glancing at the blonde then back to his wife. Throwing his hands up in surrender, Marty marched over to the door then looked back at his boss.

"I am absolutely against this idea. There! I've said it!"

"Duly noted. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get my reindeer back." Turning, the blond headed for the big barn entrance.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Em, I have to go…"

"I mean, you can't take the sleigh out. Someone might see you."

"But how am I…"

Emerald smiled gently at her. She motioned for the blonde to follow her. "I wasn't supposed to show you this until you had the whole chimney thing down, but since we're in a bit of a tight spot…here we are."

The blonde noticed that they were standing in front of an old mirror. "Um…Emerald…that's a…"

"Yes dear, it's a mirror. Not just any old mirror…its magic…"

The blonde looked sceptical. "Magic?"

"Don't give me that look young lady…that's the same look your father gave me when I first showed him. Now…let's see…oh! Yes, here we go…" Emerald had busied herself with putting on her glasses.

"How…exactly am I supposed to get any where on a mirror?"

"It works by sensing what's really inside your heart…"

"Uh…_ok_…"

Emerald gave her a stern look but continued talking. "You want to find Rudy, right? Feel him in your heart…if it helps, picture him in you mind…"

Sighing, the blonde figured it wouldn't hurt to humour the old woman. Closing her eyes, she thought of the young reindeer and felt her heart slightly swell inside. Rudy had a way of making her smile even when he did something bone headed like this.

All of a sudden, the mirror began to glow and hum. The blonde opened her eyes as she saw her reflection morph into the snowy streets of New York City.

"Oh…my…goodness…" she whispered.

"Now pay close attention. This won't take you to Rudy directly, but it will send you into the _vicinity_ of where he is. You have to find him on your own..."

"Wow…" the blonde said in wonder clearly not paying attention.

"You're not even listening to me are you?" Emerald placed her hands on her hips and pressed her lips together.

Realizing that Emerald had stopped talking, the blonde turned slowly. "Huh…oh! I have to find him on my own…got it…"

"_And_ the only way to get back is the same way you got there…"

"Yeah…WHAT!" Eyes wide, the blonde snapped her head around.

Smiling to herself, Emerald patted the blonde's shoulder. "Good luck dear…" she led the blonde by the hand and hugged her tight. "See you soon…"

"But…you…I'm…wait!" Emerald gently pushed the blonde and she was sucked into the mirror, protests trailing behind. Just as quickly, the mirror returned back to normal.

Dusting her hands off Emerald gave a nod of approval at her reflection. Marty came bounding back into the room.

"Is it safe to come in?" He asked hesitantly. Rolling her eyes, Emerald nodded. The both stood there staring at the mirror.

"Think this was too soon?" Marty asked quietly. He slowly turned and faced his wife. Seeing the worried look in her face, Marty sighed. Emerald gave him a gently squeeze then left the room quietly.

Marty looked around the empty workshop and rubbed his tired face.

"This is going to be harder then I thought…" He gave one last look at the mirror, and then waddled out of the room. He hoped she was alright…

* * *

"AHHHH…OW!" The blonde landed loudly and none too gently on the snow covered ground. Lifting her face the blonde looked around but really couldn't see a thing. Her hair, which was covered with snow, had fallen into her face.

Shaking off the snow the blonde tried again to look around and spiting out the snow that managed to get into her mouth, she made a face.

"Ew…New York snow is _so_ not edible…ow, ow, ow…" she gingerly moved her arms out from under her and pushed her self up. Her foot made contact with a patch of ice which sent her flying back to the ground.

"Ow…" she moaned. Again, her hair fell in her face. She desperately tried to blow it out of the way but grunted as it just fell back into her eyes.

She felt strong a hand on her back. The blonde's eyes widened. _Oh crap! _

"Are you alright?" Said the husky voice. _Oh wow…_the blonde turned at the sound of the voice and glanced at the stranger with hair covered eyes. She smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

The stranger smiled slightly at the sight. _Cute…_She gently brushed away the hair with a finger and her breath came out in a puff. The blonde stranger had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

"Um…are you sure? You took a pretty nasty spill…" she asked softly. She brushed away the snow that covered the blonde's cheeks and noticed that she was blushing.

"Yes…" the blonde squeaked. Clearing her throat she tried again. "Yes, yes I am…" she slowly pushed herself up but almost stumbled on that same patch of ice. She would have fallen flat on her face if it had not been for strong hands catching her.

She heard the brown haired stranger chuckle quietly. Strong arms wrapped around the blonde's waist. The blonde looked up into soft brown laughing eyes and felt her heart skip a beat.

"Sure about that?"

Nodding wordlessly, the blonde just stared at the stranger. She saw the corner's of her mouth twitch slightly. "Ok…I'm gonna let you go now. Think you can manage on your own?"

The blonde lightly placed trembling hands on the stranger's arms and swallowed. She felt the muscles slightly flex as the stranger loosened her hold and took a step back. They stared at each other for a moment then the brown haired stranger looked away.

"What brings you here?" She had let go completely and the blonde felt the cold winter air flood her insides. She shivered as she dropped her hands from the stranger's arms and wrapped them around herself.

"Uh…I…I…uh…" _Think! _She noticed that the stranger eyed her suspiciously. "I'm staying with a friend. I took a walk but I think I got myself lost…"

Nodding, the stranger smiled gently. "So you're not from here, are you?" Shaking her head, the blonde just smiled shyly and wrapped her coat around her tighter.

"I…I… better go…" The blonde turned to leave when she felt a soft hand on her arm. Turning back, she just stared.

"I…uh…I don't even know your name…." For some reason, the brown haired stranger felt a need to know who this woman was.

Blushing once more, the blonde smiled awkwardly. "My…my name?" Nodding, the stranger wasn't going to let go. Swallowing, the blonde looked at the stranger.

"Well…I…I don't even know your name either…" she stuttered. Staring intently at the blonde for what seemed a lifetime, the stranger suddenly smiled brightly.

"Ok, ok…Olivia. Olivia Benson. And you are?"

Smiling shyly, the blonde tucked her hair behind her ears. She bit her lip then smiled softly.

"Alex. My name is Alex…"

* * *


	3. Author's Note

Authors note:

Sorry folks for not updating. I've been really busy. It's also tax filing season so I won't be able to update any of my stories for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to write bits and pieces here and there, but that's pretty much it for now.

Unfortunately, I'll be putting this story on the back burner for now. My muse is dried up but every now and then I get a trickle of in idea, but that's about it.

Sit tight and I'll see you all in about a month…give or take.


End file.
